Let’s be real, we’ve all heard about the fork incident. Students are infuriated because there are never enough forks in the lunchroom, forcing them to scarf down their pad thai with their grimy fingers. Health hazard? Yes. Just a guess: over half of the school has contributed to this horrifying shortage at least once during their Blake career. Elizabeth Opp ‘18 admits, “I have about five forks from the lunchroom stashed under my bed. The quality is spectacular! Who wouldn’t want a couple for themselves?”

Here’s how it probably went down for you: you were in a rush to get out of that cramped space that’s supposedly called the “lunchroom” where you bus your plate after lunch. Forgetting about your fork on your plate, you smacked the plate against the side of the trash can. As it plummets into the depths, you remember the floppy fork. As you peek over the side of the trash can, you consider picking it out of the heaping piles of mashed food, but you gag at the sight, so you stand up straight, act like nothing happened, and continue on with your day, because what’s the big deal? Who cares about one fork?

Now, throw it back to the times at lunch where you’ve tried to eat your spaghetti with a spoon. Hopefully, this little story makes you think twice about why the forks are gone. It’s all you. Not Taher, not Forum, not even Jonathan Osters. You. So, next time your fork ends up in the trash can, think about your future career as a dumpster diver, gag a couple times, and hike up your shorts to find the boots to get that fork back.