Dr. Love dishing out the secrets of love

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Carolyn Patterson, Sports editor

 

Dear Dr. Love,

My freshman crush favorited my tweet the other day, so I know she wants me. I would like to know how to go about pursing this blossoming romance. I can throw down the lyrics to some pretty hardcore songs such as Demi Lovato’s newest single, “Heart Attack” or the classic, One Direction’ song “What Makes You Beautiful.” However, with my crush I always stumble on my words, sweat through my Old Spice deodorant and end up singing “Irreplaceable” by Beyoncé under my breath because I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking of going local with my musical talent and would love to have a lady by my side for the journey to stardom and beyond–could I get some tips?

 

Sincerely,

Hopeless romantic

 

Dear Hopeless romantic,

The musical talent is a shoe in winning the ladies so I would suggest picking up a good old fashioned guitar and playing random strings while singing a Hunter Hayes song, I guarantee even girls from Breck will come running to fight for your love. In addition, I have the perfect pick-up line for a quick start, as stated by www.pickuplinesgalore: “My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.” It’s short, yet so deep you could fill English classes for days pulling meaning out of those 10 words. This phrase will have her favoriting every one of your tweets, if not giving you the retweet as well. Or, because the ladies love a classy guy, you could quote the famous rapper Justin Bieber, “I got money in my hands that I’d really like to blow, swag, swag, swag, on you. Chillin’ by the fire while we eatin’ fondue.” Be sure to include all three swags, cite your source and hand her a bibliography when you’re done. She’ll swoon. These tips are a shoe-in for you to win your lover over, so stop by the choir room for a quick warm up, grab your guitar or a beat boxer and get going.

 

Yours truly,

Dr. Love <3