Zach’s Guide to March Madness

Unorthodox Methods used by the Casual Observer

Zach Marmet, Staff Writer

Just like every other year, this year I started off March without having watched a single game of college basketball. I don’t plan or do any sort of serious research for March Madness. If you asked me, I probably couldn’t tell you a single player on most of the teams in the tournament. But that’s exactly what I love about March Madness: I have the same chances as a college basketball expert. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the more you know about basketball, the less of a chance you have to make the best bracket. So instead of using game statistics and personal knowledge, I read up  on seedings and the ESPN blurbs about each team. When in doubt, I pick the team whose name has more syllables. All my Final Four teams are good, realistic teams according to the sources above, but I had some trouble choosing who would move on to the championship games.

To help me decide between Gonzaga and UVA, I held up a picture of each mascot in front of my dog. She walked towards Gonzaga, so Gonzaga moved to the championship. The decision between Villanova and Michigan State was really hard, but it was finally settled when I looked up “paintball” on Google Images. Since there was more blue paint than green paint in the top pictures, Villanova moved on instead of Michigan State. The championship was a no-brainer: Villanova is four syllables and Gonzaga is only three, so obviously Villanova would win it all.

Other fun facts about my bracket: I automatically picked any and all teams with the word “state” in their school name to advance past the first round. If a team sounds somewhat exotic, like Hawaii last year or New Mexico St., I take them to the Sweet Sixteen.

I love March Madness because I can mess around with my bracket and still have just as good of a chance as anyone to win, or at least to not lose.